Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
