First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
