Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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