North Korea, Best Korea!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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