Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
