I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
honey bunches of taint.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
