There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
