Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Two words: blizzard sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
