There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
