I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
