I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
