as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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