You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
