In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
