I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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