Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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