I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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