Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
