i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
