Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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