I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
