we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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