honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to make a zoo with you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My bed smells like the plague
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
