soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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