you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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