i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
