you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
