Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
