Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
