Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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