Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
