You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
