Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
