She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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