quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
