My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
