Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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