Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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