do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
