mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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