I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
