wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
