Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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