Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
