yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
