I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
