You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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