i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
