Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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