Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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