anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
