Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize