i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
