Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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