You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
