I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize