i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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