Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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