i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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