It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
