...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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