i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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