He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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