I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
